jessicat

Month

May 2009

Go buy this DVD → davidsfirstmovie.com

Update: “Jake Johnson, who co-stars with Michael Cera in the new comedy Paper Heart coming out this August is co-starring opposite Charlie Hewson in my movie! More reason to pre-buy the DVD!” -David

I know I already posted about this, but I don’t want you to miss an opportunity to be a part of something good.

May 29, 2009
Accident, Mass. Ave.

-dont-forget-:sexartandpolitics:

I stopped at a red light on Mass. Ave.
in Boston, a couple blocks away
from the bridge, and a woman in a beat-up
old Buick backed into me. Like, cranked her wheel,
rammed right into my side. I drove a Chevy
pickup truck. It being Boston, I got out
of the car yelling, swearing at this woman,
a little woman, whose first language was not English.
But she lived and drove in Boston, too, so she knew,
we both knew, that the thing to do
is get out of the car, slam the door
as hard as you fucking can and yell things like What the fuck
were you thinking? You fucking blind? What the fuck
is going on? Jesus Christ!
So we swore
at each other with perfect posture, unnaturally angled
chins. I threw my arms around, sudden
jerking motions with my whole arms, the backs
of my hands toward where she had hit my truck.

But she hadn’t hit my truck. She hit
the tire; no damage done. Her car
was fine, too. We saw this while
we were yelling, and then we were stuck.
The next line in our little drama should have been
Look at this fucking dent! I’m not paying for this
shit. I’m calling the cops, lady.
Maybe we’d throw in a
You’re in big trouble, sister, or I just hope for your sake
there’s nothing wrong with my fucking suspension
, that
sort of thing. But there was no fucking dent. There
was nothing else for us to do. So I
stopped yelling, and she looked at the tire she’d
backed into, her little eyebrows pursed
and worried. She was clearly in the wrong, I was enormous,
and I’d been acting as if I’d like to hit her. So I said
Well, there’s nothing wrong with my car, nothing wrong
with your car…are you OK?
She nodded, and started
to cry, so I put my arms around her and I held her, middle
of the street, Mass. Ave., Boston, a couple blocks from the bridge.
I hugged her, and I said We were scared, weren’t we?
and she nodded and we laughed.

Jill McDonough just won the Pushcart Prize for this poem

via maddow

May 29, 200923 notes
Play
May 29, 20099 notes
Listen

copycats:

Give Me Just A Little More Time/Sweet Escape/The Boys Are Back In Town (Daytrotter Sessions) by The Spinto Band
originally by Chairman of the Board/Gwen Stefani/Thin Lizzy
(via daytrotter:via)

May 29, 200933 notes
May 28, 200917 notes
Pickup lines → pickuphelp.com

The “I’m feeling lucky” result for pickup lines. Some faves:

Did you fart? Because you blew me away.

I wanna bag you like some groceries.

May 28, 20093 notes
Play
May 28, 20093 notes
May 27, 20095 notes
AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRISTIAN BALE’S VOCAL CHORDS: Give It A Rest → bestweekever.tv

via BWE. CBVCs have been the butt of my favorite jokes lately.

May 27, 2009
“Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime!” —the owl in Bambi
May 27, 20093 notes
May 27, 2009
“Can I just say how glad I am that California decided to uphold the sanctity and beauty of a marriage such as Heidi and Spencer’s?” —from the comments: The Hills: Lauren Conrad’s Penultimate Attempt At Relevance - Hate-Watching - Videogum (via bthny)
May 27, 20096 notes
May 27, 200928 notes
May 26, 20091,242 notes
May 22, 2009
May 22, 2009
Play
May 22, 20096 notes
May 22, 20099 notes
Master the art of dating the David Wain Way → asylum.com

(via stalk)

May 22, 20092 notes
Play
May 22, 200936 notes
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